Good Advice

Of all the buses in Portland, my favorite is the #20.  It is probably the most crowded, seedy, and fowl smelling bus on all of tri-met , but it is usually an interesting experience.

Also, often times the meter is jammed so you can ride for free.

Some important things I learned on the bus:

1. You do not need a phone to make a phone call.  If you have an old water bottle, you can apparantly use that.  You can even use it to make a phone call to canada to preorder tickets to cirque du soleil.
2. when ordering tickets to cirque de soleil on a water bottle, the maximum number of tickets one can purchase is 9 . 10 is not allowed and no amount of yelling and name calling will change this rule.   The canadian official in charge of water bottle cirque du soleil transactions cannot be swayed and arguing will only result in needless exasperation  until you give up and throw your water bottle at the bus driver.
3.  Throwing a water bottle at a bus driver will not get you kicked off the bus, but you will receive a stern warning that it could.
3. Do NOT attempt to go to Canada to buy the tickets in person!   That will require a passport.  Applications for US passports are what the government uses to steal people’s identities and turn them into virtual reality video games.
4.   “the best thing you can do for your kids is have them in or around butcher shops as much as possible! ”   How this is in anyway related to the previous train of thought,  or how far exactly one can stand away from the butcher shop and still reap the benefits is a mystery…. but as is the case for most senseless statements, I deconstruct and analyze them to death until they become gleaming remarkable insights to contemplate for hours.
here are some sad cows:   new prints available here
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