I’m hoping it doesn’t make me completely morbid, but often during the day, my reality is interrupted by brief detailed visions of how I could possibly – in that immediate instance – die. It’s usually a surreal, unlikely, and aesthetically composed death. For instance, when I’m drying my hair in the morning if I flip my hair forward to dry the underneath section, It’s entirely likely that I could hit the my head on the sink. My skull which is made out of porcelain will shatter into thousands of pieces, and I will collapse into swirls of raspberry jelly and confetti. Or perhaps I will die walking down the street. I’ll step on a sidewalk vent that is unknowingly made only of moss. It will crumble beneath me, and my leg will become lodged, and (since it is held on by a single pin) will snap right off. This causes me to lose my balance and I topple into the street. A fog of horrified gasps will envelope me as a streetcar crushes into my body.
There are of course many other possible scenarios of my demise. That is why I will never wear a necklace to bed. .. And also because I once woke up with my pajama pants somehow tied securely around my neck. So I won’t wear those either.
If the threat of death isn’t a good sales pitch, I don’t know what it. You can find new pendants in my etsy store